Administrators timm525 Posted April 23, 2008 Administrators Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 Slippery When Wet 2008 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (15 January 2008, Sweden) The Darwin Awards have celebrated many bone-headed things burglars do in the commission of their crimes. For instance, taking a shortcut down a 55-foot sheer rock face. Early one morning, two men broke into a gymnasium (high school) east of Stockholm. After a profitable stroll through the building, they were startled by a janitor. They raced out of the building into the pre-dawn darkness. Fearing imminent detection, they took a shortcut to safety--down the face of a steep 55-foot rock escarpment. But in selecting this convenient shortcut, they failed to consider three crucial facts: First, it was pitch black. Due to the northern latitude, the sun rises late in Sweden. Second, it had rained during the night. And third, the rock in eastern Sweden is granite, the type of rock that is polished into posh floors and fancy countertops. The danger of slippery granite is a well-known fact for residents of the area. Escaping down a granite cliff, in the rain, in the dark? Try tilting a slab of polished granite, pouring water over it, and making a controlled descent while carrying a load of loot. This is the province of mountain goats, not humans hoping to pass on their genes. In short, one of the burglars slipped and fell head-over-heels to his death, bringing a new meaning to "the crack of dawn." His worldly riches were scattered around him. atta boy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators timm525 Posted April 23, 2008 Author Administrators Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 Another one, duh!(2 February 2008, New York) A 50-year-old man was bird hunting in Upstate New York with his buddies and his faithful canine companion. They stopped for a smoke, and he noticed that his dog had found a bone. It was a deer leg! The man tried to take the bone away from the dog. Like any right thinking dog, the animal would not relinquish its treasure, and stayed just out of reach. Frustrated with this blatant show of disobedience, the man grabbed his loaded shotgun by the muzzle and began wielding it like a club. Each time he swung it, the dog dodged. Suddenly the "club" struck the ground and fired, shooting the man in the abdomen. He was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where he died from his injuries. He did remain conscious long enough to confirm this account to police; otherwise, his poor friends might now be under suspicion of murder. At least he didn't hit the dog! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators timm525 Posted April 23, 2008 Author Administrators Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 The ambulance responded to a frantic call concerning a neighbor's trip through an industrial tree shredder. It seems the individual had decided to prune his own trees, rather than hire a professional. Why not? After all, the local rental shop had shredders that could make quick work of yard debris, including tree limbs up to 8 inches in diameter. To save time (those fateful words) the neighbor placed the shredder at the base of a great oak tree. He intended to cut off the top third of the tree, since it had been damaged by lightning and was dead. With the shredder running wide open, the neighbor climbed his ladder to the first tree branch, stepped off the ladder, slipped, and fell. The paramedics found him very dead, half in and half out of the shredder's hopper, one leg shredded to the hip. Not married, no kids, removed self from the gene pool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonnyDaytona Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 Very easy to take for granted how many real winners there are in this world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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