When can I start my life?


MV86

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Why is it everywhere I look there's people married,engaged,or having kids? It seems that everyone has these things except for me.

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By the same token mate there are people getting divorced (me) losing contact with kids, and losing their hair! enjoy yourself while you're young because you can never get the years back.

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We can't have kids, and we don't miss them either.We do have a diabetic dog, that costs us quite a bit, but not like a child.Married life is what you make it, but don't rush into it.I was 33 before I got married, and already had a house, several bank accounts, etc, all because I didn't rush out and marry the first girl I saw.

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Why is it everywhere I look there's people married' date='engaged,or having kids? It seems that everyone has these things except for me.[/quote']How old are you? Enjoy your life because, believe me, kids will suck the very life out of you. Marriage is not a bed of roses. It takes hard work and at times is very unfulfilling. Take you time, find the RIGHT mate and then things will happen. Just find the right one.
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If you have the time for some advice from a battle-scarred warrior, here it is. It may sound simple and maybe even trite, but believe me, it's harder to do than it sounds -- but it works.You've got to be comfortable enough with yourself that you are presenting who you really are at all times with a potential mate. If you are goofy and insecure, be goofy and insecure. Because if you put up a front, sooner or later it's going to crack and come falling down and the other person will find out anyway. Trying to "make someone like you" NEVER works. Be who and what you are and if they like it, great.Also important: keep in mind that if it doesn't work out, if you meet someone and they don't like the true you, it DOESN'T mean you have to change something about yourself or there is something wrong with you. It's only one person's opinion and has no real value. Just move on to the next person.Easier said than done, all of it. But living honestly is the safest way to happiness.

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Nice advice VC. I've sometimes thought that maybe I should hide certain aspects of my personality but they will eventually come out sooner or later. Lying is only going to get you in trouble.Something that people have told me before is that someone isn't going to come knocking on your door to ask you on a date. You have to put yourself out there by joining dating sites or hitting the club (not my thing personally). Everyone says the grocery store is a great place to pick someone up but I'll never try it. Talk about it with coworkers, friends, and family. It may be a little embarassing at first but I got a ton of great advice when I started talking about dating with my friends. Never know; they may have a friend that's also looking.

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This doesn't hold true for everyone of course but I have to say that most of the people I know who have divorced (myself included) are much happier the 2nd time around. I see it as a chance to learn from past mistakes and to correct them. As LMD said, it's not a bowl of cherries. Takes a lot of hard work, compromise and trust. Without trust in a relationship you have nothing. Don't rush into it MV86, your time will come, most likely when you're not even looking or least expect it. One other mistake to avoid. Don't ever go into a relationship (or marriage) thinking you can change someone. Trying to change a person is a sure recipe for disaster! As VC said, be yourself and accept that person for who he or she is. If that's not working then walk away.

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Why is it everywhere I look there's people married' date='engaged,or having kids? It seems that everyone has these things except for me.[/quote']Your life has already started! The worst thing you can do in my opinion, is count on someone else to make your life complete. This is the reason most relationships end quite badly. We each have our own compass and our own obstacles and opportunities. Find happiness with your self, figure out who you are and what you are all about. Do what it is in life you want to do, provided you hurt neither yourself or anyone else. Do it to the absolute best of your ability.
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My wife and I get along well, but it's no walk in the park. Great advice on this thread Amber. I enjoy my time with her, but there are days when we need our space. Even with all the movies we have, I work in the yard each weekend, and she cleans the house. Okay she sits in her chair, but I imagine she's cleaning the house. :p

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If you have the time for some advice from a battle-scarred warrior' date=' here it is. It may sound simple and maybe even trite, but believe me, it's harder to do than it sounds -- but it works.You've got to be comfortable enough with yourself that you are presenting who you really are at all times with a potential mate. If you are goofy and insecure, be goofy and insecure. Because if you put up a front, sooner or later it's going to crack and come falling down and the other person will find out anyway. Trying to "make someone like you" NEVER works. Be who and what you are and if they like it, great.Also important: keep in mind that if it doesn't work out, if you meet someone and they don't like the true you, it DOESN'T mean you have to change something about yourself or there is something wrong with you. It's only one person's opinion and has no real value. Just move on to the next person.Easier said than done, all of it. But living honestly is the safest way to happiness.[/quote']VC that is great advice. I enjoyed reading it and it made great sense. Thank you, from one who no longer is looking. But would like to one day..
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My wife and I get along well' date=' but it's no walk in the park. Great advice on this thread Amber. I enjoy my time with her, but there are days when we need our space. Even with all the movies we have, I work in the yard each weekend, and she cleans the house. Okay she sits in her chair, but I imagine she's cleaning the house. :p[/quote']G is that the Southern way to imagine the wife if cleaning? Walk into the messy house and imagine it's Better homes and Gardens? :DAmber, get rid of the kid you have now and go on. And then what the others have said make so much sense. I'm divorced and it was so hard to work at it and he was a kid that I grew up and I had a kid already, who needs that. I've have some messed up relationships. And like I've said it's hard for me to go out there and date again......But that is just me. I like having my own things, home, toys like my computer and stuff.....one day my bedroom will be mine again..lol......And the livingroom will be the living room once again. I'm thinking on it....we shall see but I have to say David and DjwannaB are brave on those dating sites but the clubs aren't for me either......I keep asking David to come rake my leaves or fix my plumbing, or help me paint. I have to go check that airfare for him to come and kick everyone out...lol......Shill loves the states, maybe he can come over and hang a while...lol...friend to me are better and like someone here said that a friend can turn into more and that is the best relationships, friends first with honesty and trust.....still waiting.......And I do know no one is just going to ring my door bell .....:D But it would be berry berry Niccceeeeee!
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Who is this Shill you speak of? I am very jealous now! I had my rake, paint brushes, and drop clothes all packed but now I unpacked them.

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Having compromised many aspects of my personality whilst married...i have sworn to never do that again, which has made me a much happier person. I will aslo make sure in any furure relationships I have my own breathing space. Live & learn!Amber.... being married with children is not all its cracked up to be...believe me. Its hard work! And when it fails its devastating. Keep your freedom as long as you can...its very precious

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My wife cleans the house very well. Nobody believes me? :pOkay, I clean the house most of the time too. Well my wife is on the computer a lot. See how this married life thing is turning ugly Amber?But, not ALL marriages are like this. When I burned myself out in the yard 2 weeks ago, my wife helped me with that. But she kept asking me when I was going to peel. :birdie:And she does pay for things on occasion. So it's not all bad. At least she's not a viggo fan. :)

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Who is this Shill you speak of? I am very jealous now! I had my rake' date=' paint brushes, and drop clothes all packed but now I unpacked them.[/quote']Oh hon, don't unpack them he's across the pond and you are only states away......You fly over here and we shall teach each other lessons, taking turns being the teacher, educational time. And you can teach me to paint well and blend colors too......David, pack that bag, NOW!:D:DSorry some dom. humor.......just joking people, or am I ? hmmmmm:)
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My wife cleans the house very well. Nobody believes me? :pOkay' date=' I clean the house most of the time too. Well my wife is on the computer a lot. See how this married life thing is turning ugly Amber?But, not ALL marriages are like this. When I burned myself out in the yard 2 weeks ago, my wife helped me with that. But she kept asking me when I was going to peel. :birdie:And she does pay for things on occasion. So it's not all bad. At least she's not a viggo fan. :)[/quote']G I love that village people avatar, says something about you...:DWhere is the other one you were telling me about? Yes, I believe you that she cleans, but it's no fun not to joke with you.......I have found that LMD and Mo are right...hehehheheee
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Health is everything. With the vice a close second though

Shill you change avatars the way chameleons change colors
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Why is it everywhere I look there's people married' date='engaged,or having kids? It seems that everyone has these things except for me.[/quote']Don't worry, I'm in the same boat as you and I've got a dozen years on you. It is pretty bleak sometimes when you see everyone else having a family of their own. I enjoy my freedom as well, but it is nice to have someone to share time with.I don't do bars and clubs as I hate that atmosphere. I've tried eharmony and match.com as well.I met my last girlfriend on match.com but we found out our needs were not the same and moved on in a friendly manner.I will say eharmony was not a good experience for me. I don't know where/how they matched these 29 dimensions. To me that was total BS. I think the girls I went out with from there had 29 demons...eh, I mean dimensions.Hang in there. It'll happen when it happens. Everyone says that there is that "special someone" out there just waiting for you. I think I might have cut her off in traffic and given her the middle finger. :D:D:D That's the way my luck works.
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Hey don't talk about my wife that way!Oh wait, she gives the finger. You said it the other way. No problem.:DThis is the only avitar I have. I decided on this one.I'm getting in touch with my male side by displaying this one.

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