Watching-Part 8

[mjcmmv]

PART 8
Chapter 33: The Waiting
Jackson Memorial Trauma Center
0900
Gina

She rocked back and forth on the waiting room couch. “Why haven’t we heard anything?” she moaned. Castillo sat close, ready to be there if she needed him. Rico was across the room, staring out a window.

“Someone better tell us what’s happening soon, or I’m going to start busting some heads!” she heard him say.

Equipment rushed by them on the way to the patient area and she saw one of the Air Rescue EMT’s, a guy she knew from her rookie days. He was headed in their direction. 

She stood. “Bill, please tell me. What’s going on?”

“They’re doing everything they can, Gina. They’ve kept his heart going, and they’re transfusing him, but he’s far from stable.”

She wished the news had been better.  “It’s a start, I guess.” 

He put his hand on her arm. “One of the ER docs should be out in a little while to talk to you. They know you’re here.”

“Okay.” She leaned against Martin. “You got him here, he’s alive, and that’s what matters.”

Bill reached over and gave her a hug. “Hang in there, sweetheart. I’ll stop back to see how things are going after my next run.”

“Thanks.”

“Sure thing.” 

It made her nervous to watch Rico pace, so she faced the Lieutenant instead. He sat  there, letting her ramble on about anything that came into her head, anything but the subject of Sonny, lying in the next room fighting for his life. 

They sat for an hour more, when the swinging doors to the waiting area opened. A young doctor in blue scrubs, came out and pulled off his surgical cap, looking around the room expectantly. 

“Mrs. Crockett?” he asked when he finally saw her. “Can we see you inside please?”

Gina felt lightheaded. “Come with me, Lieutenant.” Castillo took her hand and she gripped it tightly.

The walk through the ER seemed to go on forever. They passed through the treatment area, bustling with activity, and then, toward another set of double doors that opened automatically as they approached.  Two more doctors in blue scrubs were standing in the dimly lit hallway.

“Mrs. Crockett. Lieutenant,” the older one of the two nodded. “I’m Dr. Randall, the ER attending here at Jackson Memorial. This is Dr. Moss, Chief of Surgery and one of our trauma specialists.”

She didn’t want to know their names. 

“Just tell me he’s going to be okay! That’s all I care about right now!”

Both men were silent for a moment. Then Randall reached over and put his hand on her arm. The regret in his eyes terrified her.  “He was in severe shock when he got here. We did everything we could to bring him out of it, but the blood loss was too great. I’m so sorry.”

Her eyes grew wide. “No!” she cried in a harsh whisper.  “Don’t say that to me! Don’t you dare say that to me! You’ve got to keep trying!”

She saw Martin look over at her, the concern etched deeply on his face. “Lieutenant, you know Sonny! He’s beaten this before! Tell them!”

She frantically pushed past the two men and rushed toward the trauma room doors. Marty came up from behind and wrapped his arms around her. “Gina, he’s gone,” he said. His voice was soft, like a soothing whisper. He held her against him as if trying to calm her.

“No! No, you’re wrong! You’re wrong!” She was sobbing now. 

“I wish I was wrong. More than anything in this world, Gina, I wish I was wrong.”

His words were like a slap. Her hands went to her face. “Sonny!” she moaned. She laid her head on Castillo’s chest and cried, her heart shattering like broken glass.

 

Chapter 34: Salute            Music: Brothers in Arms by Dire Straits

April 13th, 1995
Gina

The sky was a crystal blue on the day she buried him. Not a cloud in the sky. 

She had refused to dress in black. Instead, she wore a dress that was one of Sonny’s favorites. Martin helped her into the limousine. He shut the door gently. 

The weather was unusually hot ,and the limo’s air conditioner was cranked up as high as it would go. Caroline was sitting across from her, watching her closely, but Gina fought the impulse to look back, content to suffer in silence. Billy sat next to his mother, staring out the darkly tinted windows. 

Castillo had been the one to call Caroline in Atlanta.  Gina couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for Caroline to break the news to her son. Rico had picked them up from the airport. He said Billy was inconsolable. 

They pulled up to the curb in front of the church and waited until the rest of the funeral procession caught up. “Nothing about his life was ever fair,” Caroline said. “I’m sorry, Gina.”

“I know, Caroline.”  She swallowed against the lump in her throat. 

The media was already there, waiting to cover the service, but showing respect by keeping their distance from the mourners. Sonny’s fellow officers were in uniform, standing at attention in the street, their white gloved hands saluting in unison as the flag-covered casket was carried toward the church. The procession paused for a moment before mounting the steps. The sorrowful wail of bagpipes filled the air.

                                                                                                               Music: Flowers of the Forest  performed by Tess Maksimuk (album: Siubhail)

The church itself was packed. His coworkers and friends were everywhere, as well as some distant relatives she’d never met. His cousin Jack came, and a niece from San Francisco. She saw his old partner from burglary… a guard from the courthouse …

Izzy…

The police commissioner was there. So was the mayor. How she wished he could have seen it. 

The church service itself was simple, the way Sonny would have wanted. “No fanfare,” he told her once. “I don’t want you going through a lot of long speeches and phony sentiment.”

Sonny’s intuition … it was as if he’d known she’d have to face this someday.

Poor Rico struggled with the eulogy. “James Sonny Crockett. My partner. My friend…” His voice filled the church, but she never heard the words. She was far away, in another time, another place… waiting for Sonny to come home.

And through it all, Lieutenant Castillo never left her side. His arm was around her during the Honor Guard’s Three-volley salute. He held her hand when they gave her the flag.

“It’s almost over,” he whispered as they filed out of the cemetery together.

“I don’t think it will ever be over, Martin. In fact, the worst is yet to come.”

When most of the friends and family had left, she sat in the rocker in the baby’s room, the folded flag in her lap. She thought she’d give it to Billy next week when the boy came over to look through some of his father’s things. 

Intense sadness swept over her when she thought about the boy’s grief. She held the silky fabric to her face and wept.

 

Chapter 35: Refuse       
April 19th, 1995

Gina

Several days went by before they started to really worry about her. Trudy had just cooked her a four-course meal and was watching Gina pick at the food. 

“You have to eat, girl. This isn’t good!” 

Gina looked up. “I’ll eat when I’m ready, Trudy.” It was the third time that day her friend tried to get food into her, and Gina was tired of the nagging. 

“Maybe it’s time for you to go home. You’ve been a good friend, but I don’t need a sitter.”

“Is that what I am now, a sitter?”

“Trudy. Go. Home.”

“Gina…”

“I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but right now, all I want is to be left alone.”

“Alone is the last thing you should be, hon. Please, let me at least stay tonight.”

Gina took Emily out of the playpen and walked toward the sliding glass doors. She  turned around. 

“Go back to your apartment and pick up your life again. I’ll be fine.”

 “I… I’ll go pack,” Trudy said, as she headed for the bedroom. 

                                                                                                                         Music: Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie

Gina sighed. No doubt her friend would make a bee line for the phone to call in reinforcements.

She carried the baby out to the backyard. Emily patted her mother’s cheek to get her attention, but Gina never noticed. Her movements were mechanical, her eyes glazed and unblinking. She put Emily in the baby swing and started to push.

She was still there an hour later, when she heard a car door slam. Emily was sound asleep in the swing, her little chin resting on her chest.

“Gina?”

Startled, she looked over and saw Rico standing beside her. 

“It’s getting chilly out here. You need to come inside.” He took her hand. 

She barely felt his touch as he led her back into the kitchen. She said nothing as he took the baby inside to her crib and came back to sit with her in the dark.

“You have Emily to consider, Gina. Sonny wouldn’t have wanted this.”

“He left me,” she said quietly. “I know it sounds ridiculous, Rico, but I can’t seem to forgive him for that.”

“We all feel betrayed. It’s only natural. The first night after he died, I was alone on the St. Vitus. I was so furious I punched a hole in the cabin wall.”

She looked over at him. “I’m sorry. I know you’re hurting, too.”

“Yeah, well, I’m holding on okay, I guess. I went back to work yesterday. Castillo  moved Sonny’s desk over by the window. Someone had cleaned it out already.”

Her head snapped around. “They had no right …”

“It’s okay. Everything’s in a box in my car.” 

She stood and walked over to the window.  “I feel so angry all the time, Rico. I dream of him every night. Nothing bad. No blood or hospitals. Just Sonny and me going on with our lives. We’ll be walking on a beach,  watching a movie together, making love.”

She breathed in deeply.

“Sometimes, I think I hear his voice. Maybe he’ll be coming in the front door asking me what’s for dinner. The other day, I was sure I heard him playing in the family room with Emily. 

Rico came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

“The worst is at night,” she whispered. “I can still feel him against me when I put  my head on the pillow. I haven’t slept … in a long time. ”

“Come over with me to the couch.” Rico’s tone was warm and soothing.

They sat together. “Close your eyes,” he said. 

She lay her head on his chest and he began to stroke her hair. She fought it at first, but when she heard him humming, her body relaxed. For the first time in more than a  week, she drifted off into a dreamless sleep. 

It lasted until the early morning when light began to peek through the jalousie windows. She smelled coffee brewing and heard the refrigerator door close. 

“Sonny?” she called out. 

The noise in the kitchen stopped, and she closed her eyes as a wave of pain washed over her.

No, it wasn’t Sonny.

Rico appeared in the doorway. If he’d heard what she said, he never let on. “So, good morning. Are you hungry?”

She tried hard not to show her disappointment. “No.”

“Okay. Suit yourself. Emily’s been up since six and I think she’s looking for her mama.”

“She’s up? Why didn’t you wake me?”

Rico smiled. “You needed some rest. And while you were making some “z’s”, this little lady and I were having a fine ole time.”

“I can’t believe I never heard her!” Gina stood in the doorway and glanced in curiously.

Emily was in her highchair, holding a bottle in one hand and a spoon in the other. She was covered with something that looked like cereal, and the bowl in front of her lay upside down on the tray.

“Mama!” she squealed when she saw her. Her hand was splashing in a puddle of milk.

“Rico, what in God’s name did you feed her?”

“Ah… Cheerios? There was a whole box in the cabinet. I thought all kids loved those.”

“Looks like she’s wearing most of it. And it looks like you were christened, too.”

It was a long time since Gina had laughed, and all at once, it felt as if a floodgate had opened. Once she started, she couldn’t stop.

“Rico… your hair… and that tie…” She doubled over.

“‘... ico, ico…” Emily chirped.

“Okay, you two. Enough making fun of Uncle Rico!” he chuckled, brushing the remnants of the cereal from the front of his shirt. “I have my pride, you know!” 

 

Chapter 36: Remembrance

April 20, 1995

Gina

It was Emily’s First Birthday, but Gina didn’t feel much like celebrating. She stood by the desk in the family room, watching Rico go out to his car. 
He had just handed her Sonny’s gold shield in the leather holder and after staring at it for a minute, she put it away in the top drawer. 

“I wish Rico had kept it,” she thought. “I can’t bear to look at it.” 

“Gina. Here’s the box of Sonny’s things from his desk.” 

The cardboard box was only half-full. There hadn’t been much to retrieve. Some framed pictures, a coffee mug, an address book…

… a small red plastic helicopter

Her heart dropped when she saw it. 

During some of his more difficult cases, she could remember seeing him sitting at his desk, his eyes far away, as he spun the helicopter’s blades around with his index finger.

“Helps me concentrate,” he would tell her. And that was all he’d say. 

She knew it meant more to him than that.

He told her once that on the day they evacuated Saigon, his last sight of the fallen city was from the window of an army helicopter as it took off. Minutes later, the North Vietnamese swarmed over the walls of the American Embassy, rounding up anyone unlucky enough to be left behind.

Gina glanced down at the toy in her hand and smiled. Opening the desk drawer once again, she placed it next to his shield. 

She continued to sift through the rest of the box’s contents and found a mangled bullet stuffed into a folded envelope. It was the bullet that almost killed him when he was shot at the Miami commuter station. She remembered putting it into his hand after he regained consciousness in the ICU.

He was lucky that time

The last item was a framed picture of her and Sonny, the day they were married. She remembered how he’d put it on his desk, placing it where it wouldn’t be missed.  

“He was so damn proud of that picture,” she thought. She traced his face with her finger. "I miss him. I miss his smile." 

She put it in the drawer with all the other treasures and pushed it closed. It felt like she was closing a chapter of a book; the book of Sonny’s life. 

Rico joined her by the desk. 

“Take the shield,” she told him. “I don’t want it here.” She hoped she didn’t sound bitter. 

“Okay. I’ll take it. Someday, you might change your mind. For now, it will be safe with me. 

They ate in the kitchen together, while Emily played happily on the floor beside them.

“I’m going back to New York, Gina,” he told her. It was something she’d been dreading to hear.

“I had a feeling you would.”

“Val needs me. And I need to forget for a while. Staying here makes that impossible.”

“I know.”

“It doesn’t mean I won’t be keeping tabs on things, though. I’ll always be just a phone call away. I’ll make sure to get down a couple of times a year. And don’t forget, you’ve never been to New York. Great place, the Big Apple.

“I’d like that, Rico… maybe someday. When are you leaving?”

“Not yet. There are still a few things around here I need to take care of.”

Her stomach knotted with fear. “Pedrosa?” she whispered.

“Yeah. Pedrosa.”

“Rico. I don’t want to lose you, too. Let Castillo handle it.”

“Not a chance in hell,” he answered. She knew it was useless to argue. 

Rico turned to face her. “You shouldn’t be alone you know. At least until we find him.”

“He’s after us, isn’t he?”

“Sonny told me Pedrosa wants revenge and yeah, you’re on his list.”

It was not much of a surprise. “Poor Sonny. It must have made him crazy to know he couldn’t do anything about it.”

“He managed to survive long enough to tell us. I’m sure that reassured him a little.”

They were quiet with their thoughts until the phone rang, 

“Let me get it,” he said. “I’m expecting a call anyway.” He returned a few minutes later. He seemed a bit apprehensive. 

“Castillo has reconsidered and wants you to go to a safe house.” 

He stood there. She knew he was waiting for her to react.

“Haven’t I been punished enough?” she asked. Tears began to flow freely. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Gina don’t argue. This is for the best.”

“No, Rico.”

“Alright then, what about Emily?”

“I… my aunt will take her. She has a house in Lauderdale.”

“And you don’t think Pedrosa will figure that out?”

“Well, then, she stays here with me. Trudy could come back, and Stan could stay over every so often. I trust them with my life.”

Rico shook his head.

“Listen, Rico. I’m going to stay here, in my home, and I’m going to help you get him. I want to be there when he falls.”

“I promised Sonny I’d protect you. And Castillo won’t take no for an answer.”

“He’ll listen and he’ll understand. If I stay here with Emily, it will lure Pedrosa out of hiding.”

“You’re being stubborn, Gina, and a little foolish. Pedrosa won’t give up until he gets what he wants.”

“Then, I guess there’s work to do,” she answered. “Call Castillo back and tell him.”

Earlier in the day, Rico bought a cake for Emily. It was decorated with frosted flowers and figures of Sesame Street characters only a one-year-old would appreciate. Around eight o’clock, they, put out paper plates and pink-colored napkins. The little girl looked at them curiously. 

‘Happy Birthday, love,” Gina said. Rico began to sing ‘Happy Birthday’. 

They put a small piece of the chocolate masterpiece in front of her and Emily crushed it with her clenched fist.

“Okay, enough of that!” Gina scolded when she saw the chocolate going into Emily’s hair. “Time for bed.”

“No, no bed!” Emily protested.

Rico tried not to laugh.

“Emily! You are a mess,” Gina giggled, trying to avoid getting frosting on her own hair or clothes.

“No bed, no bed!” Emily screamed again.

Gina kissed her on the cheek. “Be good, little one,” she said soothingly. 

“Night, Emily.” Rico called out as the child left, sobbing in her mother’s arms.

 

Chapter 37: Don’t Forget Me

April 23rd,1995

Billy

Caroline had just dropped Billy off on Gina’s doorstep. “This is your time,” she had told him. “Gina doesn’t need me sitting there making small talk.  Let her know I’ll be by to see her in a few days.”

The car drove off and he stood there for a moment, trying to decide if he should ring the bell or knock. The door opened suddenly, and Gina appeared, solving the problem for him. 

“I was watching out the window. I saw you pull up.  It’s so good to see you. Come in.” 

He opened the screen and she hugged him. He could feel heat flushing his face. 

“Hi, Gina,” he said shyly. “Mom says she’ll be by in a couple of days.” 

He thought she looked relieved. 

Gina took his hand and led him into the family room. “Have a seat. I’ll get you something cold to drink. What would you like? Soda, lemonade?”

“Soda’s fine. Coke if you have it.”

“Coming right up.” 

It surprised him to hear the cheer in her voice, but then, she was probably putting on a good face for him.

He looked around the room while he waited. It was nicely decorated, comfortable and definitely stamped with Gina’s personality. Floral drapes hung on the windows; the color scheme was pale turquoise and cream. A carved wooden heron was on the floor by the entertainment center and Billy grinned when he saw it. 

“Bet Dad hated that piece of shit,” he thought. For a minute, he wondered if the bedroom was more his father’s style. Deep down inside, he knew it would be more of the same.

He saw his father’s old recliner set off to the side, as if waiting to be discarded. Memories of Sonny watching football with him made his heart lurch and he turned his head away as tears began to threaten. 

“Maybe she’d let me have it,” he thought. But then, he thought of his mother. Somehow, he didn’t think she’d be enthusiastic about an old beat-up recliner.

“Here, Billy. Lots of ice, just the way you like it.” 

“Thanks.” He lowered his eyes to the floor so she wouldn’t notice the moisture. 

Gina sat next to him, a mug of coffee in her hand. “How are you feeling,” she asked. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“Okay, I guess.” He took a gulp of soda. “Sometimes, I think it was just a bad dream and I’ll wake up in the morning and feel happy again.”

He saw her flinch. “I know what you mean. I live with that feeling, too.”

 She took a sip of her coffee. “I don’t want this to be a sad visit, Billy, even though I know the pain is fresh and your heart is broken, just like mine. Let’s make this a time to learn more about your Dad. You can tell me what you loved about him, and I’ll tell you what made him special to me.”

“Okay.”

They sat there in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Billy glanced at Gina and took another sip of his soda. It brought back a memory from  two years ago when he was spending some time with her and his Dad. Sonny had taken him fishing. When they got back, she’d brought them cold sodas, just like now. He remembered her smiling at him that day. He really liked her and thought his Dad had finally found a keeper. A month after that visit, they made it official and got married. Before long, Emily came along.

“Man, those were a lot of changes in such a short time,” he thought. But Billy had never seen his father happier. It hurt to think how that happiness was cut short in such a cruel way. 

“Your father’s things are over there,” she said. She glanced behind her. He followed her gaze and saw a pedestal table in the corner. It was draped with a simple white tablecloth. She had tried to make it special. He saw several boxes, surrounded by photographs of him with his Dad. There was a small vase of flowers, too, probably Gina’s attempt to soften the impact. Then, he noticed the folded flag.  It was in a special glass box. He wished she hadn’t put it there. Memories of his father’s casket came rushing back. He couldn’t fight it this time. He closed his eyes, but the tears leaked out anyway. 

“Oh, Billy.” Gina put her arms around him. “I’ve been wanting to hold you since I saw you that day at the funeral. I’m so sorry, honey. I know how much you loved him.”

He pulled away, a little embarrassed. “Yeah. I’m sorry for you, too, Gina. I know you loved him a lot.”

That made her smile. “Do you want to look now, or shall we wait?”

“No, I want to see what's there."

They both stood and walked over to the table. “Here are his medals,” she said as she opened one of the boxes. He knew his father was a war hero, but Sonny didn’t talk about it much. Billy had never even seen his father’s medals and the assortment left him stunned. 

Gina had fished one out. “I think this one was his pride and joy. The Silver Star Medal. I thought you’d like that one for sure.”

Billy held it in his hand. It felt light but for him, it was as heavy as a Sherman tank. He read the inscription. 'Gallantry in action against an enemy of the United States.' He remembered reviewing that in History when they were covering the Viet Nam War. His father hadn’t mention receiving this either. 

“Yes. I’d like this one very much.”

She continued to open boxes and let him finger each item, offering explanations if she thought he needed them. His father’s lighter, his watch. Some treasures from the boat. A college sweatshirt he saw him wear a few times, when they went fishing. He chose carefully, glancing up at her every once in a while, to see if she approved.

“How about the flag?” she asked, when they sat back down on the couch.

He was hoping she didn’t notice he avoided the glass box. He swallowed. 

“I don’t think so, Gina. That reminds me of a funeral, not my father. I don’t think I could stand looking at that every day. The things I picked out remind me of when he was alive; and when we were together.”

Gina put her hand on his shoulder. “Of course. That’s the way it should be.”

“Why don’t you save it for Emily? She won’t have the same memories I do. It'll be special to her when she get's older. 

“Thank you for thinking of her. That means a lot.”

“Where is my sister, anyway?” He stood and his eyes searched the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “Is she sleeping?”

The sadness fled from Gina’s eyes and she jumped up. “I’ll go get her. It’s time she got up from her nap, anyway. The longer she sleeps, the later she’ll stay up! And believe me, that won’t be good!”
 

Edited April 5, 2021 by mjcmmv

[vicegirl85]

This was beautiful.

I love the last section, with Gina and Billy together.

[mjcmmv]

25 minutes ago, vicegirl85 said:

This was beautiful.

I love the last section, with Gina and Billy together.

Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Billy needed his moment. 

[Matt5]

Nice Billy touch.

[mjcmmv]

12 minutes ago, Matt5 said:

Nice Billy touch.

I had to include him. Thanks. 

[summer84]

Just finished the chapter. It was really sad, how it turned out. Didn't expect it to end this way, had hoped, he would live, but it did give it another perspective. 

[mjcmmv]

15 minutes ago, summer84 said:

Just finished the chapter. It was really sad, how it turned out. Didn't expect it to end this way, had hoped, he would live, but it did give it another perspective. 

Sorry I couldn't warn you, Summer. It isn't over yet, though. 

[sdiegolo78]

I felt sad after reading this. As I was when watching 'Down for the count".