Street Talk

[Robbie C.]

Just a little something I whipped up as an experiment. I wasn't going to post it, but another of our writers said I should...so here goes.

 

Noogie Lamonte was tired. No two damned ways about it. Running cons all day was no joke, and no way to make a living unless you had a confirmed allergy to work. And Noogie had that affliction, at least that’s what his grandmother told him all those years gone now.

Still, it was cool in Rizzo’s for a change. It usually was during the day shift, just a few guys hanging around eyeballing the merchandise. The girls were either too old to work the prime shifts or trying to break into the higher-tipping rotations after six. Looking at what was on offer though his purple-framed sunglasses, Noogie turned back to the bartender with a smirk. “You think if I threw a stick the one on three would fetch it?”

“That’s harsh, Noogie.” Still, the big man chuckled. “She’s got a kid to feed and all.”

“Does she?” Noogie felt a little stab in his gut. “The Noog-man takes back what he said. Girl gotta feed the kid any way she can so long’s she ain’t turnin’ tricks, if you can dig what I’m sayin’.”

“Yeah.” Vic swiped at a spot on the bar with a rag that might have been white ten years ago. “Might not be too long before she’s doin’ that. I seen Jimmy in here sniffin’ around not too long back.”

The stab got a bit bigger. Noogie knew Jimmy by reputation. He was a mean little man who liked taking out all his insecurities on his girls. And from what Noogie heard the man was a walking tractor trailer full of insecurity. If the little bastard got his claws in that girl… “Inquiring minds gotta know, an’ the Noog-man ain’t got time to find him a Weekly World News. Jimmy still dealing powder with his pussay?”

Vic looked around. “You didn’t hear it from me, but yeah. He’s outa your price range, though.”

“The Noog-man rolls in style, son. You’d well to remember.”

“Yeah. I remember you still owe me a dollar fifty for that beer. Better pay up if you want another.”

“Got it right here, and if I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’.” Noogie dug in the front pocket of his black leather pants and pulled out some crumpled bills. “And there’s a five, Clive. Give me another an’ pour one for your own bad self.” Noogie looked over at the girl again. She was thin, with lank dark hair and eyes that only saw what she wanted to see. He knew the type. Hell, his sister had been the type. And he knew what Jimmy did to girls like her. His beer arrived, and he took a deep drink. There had to be a way… And then the solution walked through the door and landed in his lap.

“Noogie, my man.” He recognized Ricardo Tubbs’ drawl right away. The voice he used when he was trying to butter someone up.

“What it is, Rico? The man with the plan! They take your training wheels off tonight?”

Rico grinned, but his eyes went mean. “Sonny’s busy, so I get to talk to you alone. I hate talking to you.”

“Aw, come on, brother! Where’s the love? The Noog-man’s all about lovin’. I’m a lover, not a fighter, remember?”

“Until we offered you a cell with Boogaloo Jones.”

“That cat has some serious issues the Noog-man wants to no part of. No way. No how.” Noogie looked around, his eyes flicking from face to face. Seeing who was close enough to hear what he was about to say. Vic had wandered off down the bar, and Rizzo’s blown PA system was cranking what might have once been Rick James. Or Michael Jackson. The speakers were so fried Noogie couldn’t tell. “So what brings a man of your status to Rizzo’s? I know it ain’t for the window shopping.”

“Looking for leads on a new dealer. I don’t supposed you’ve heard anything?”

“Erase the hate! The Noog-man is the answer you been lookin’ for. I hear tell of a cat comes round here named Jimmy who’s stepin’ up his game. Snow is fallin’, if you get what I’m sayin’.”

“And I’m just supposed to believe you.”

“If I’m lyin’…”

“You’re dyin.’ I heard that one before, Noogie. But you may be dyin’ if you lie to me this time.”

“Scout’s honor, Rico. The Noog-man will swear on a whole church full o’ bibles. My source is solid. He ain’t no chump. And this Jimmy’s a pimp on top of it all. So you get a two-for-one.”

He saw Rico’s eyes light up. “This guy a skinny little chump who wears his mom’s fur coats?”

“Fake fur you mean. Although with his new line he might upgrade.” Noogie looked over at the girl again, watching her untie her top and toss it to the three men slouching around her pole stand. There was scattered applause, and he could see her wince.

“You know the girl?”

“Naw, man.” Noogie looked back at Rico and shook his head. “But she reminds me of someone. Hell, I can’t lie to you, brother. She’s got a kid at home, too.”

“Never took you for having a heart, Noogie.”

“The Noog-man keeps it hidden.”

Rico nodded, and Noogie watched him look back at the stripper. “This Jimmy. He got his claws in her?”

“Not yet. But the girl got no chance here. She don’t know what we know.”

“No.” Rico stared at her as she finished her routine and gathered up the scattered dollar bills before heading for the back. “No, she doesn’t. You’re right about that, Noogie. She come out and push drinks after her set?”

“Most of ‘em do. Shake the ass for some cold hard cash. Day shift is hard, though. Not as many dudes.”

“No lie. I’ll stick around and see if she shows.”

Noogie pretended to sulk, but inside his heart was racing. He’d read his man right, and Tubbs was almost hooked. Now all the girl had to do was play her cards right and the Noog-man would have done his good deed for the week.

Noogie had been hustling since grade school. He knew the streets, and he knew the rules of the game. He survived and sometimes thrived because of his outsized personality. Black leather pants, purple sunglasses, a red leather jacket. It was all part of the show for Noogie, just like that fool Izzy with his leisure suits and Hemingway references. I bet the little fool ain’t even read no Hemingway he thought, turning so he could see Tubbs and the back room door without moving his head. But this damned girl was getting to him, and if he could help her just a bit…

He saw her before Tubbs, her small breasts just hidden by a cut-off t-shirt. She wobbled out in high heels and short-shorts, a tray balanced in her hand. Noogie grinned wide and waved. “Hey, doll! The Noog-man and his compadre are in need of liquid refreshment and company!” He jabbed Tubbs with his elbow and stage-whispered, “She got it all, jack!”

“I ain’t surprised. Just hope my shots are current.” Rico glared at Noogie and then turned on the charm. “Scotch for me, sweetheart. And then a table.” He looked at his expensive shoes and grinned. “The dogs are barkin’.”

The girl smiled as a confused look bloomed on her face. Noogie could see dark circles under her eyes, and he wondered when she’d last gotten a good night’s sleep. “Scotch and a table. You got it. And you?”

“Beer, my good lady.” He grinned. “The Noog-man be needin’ some liquid refreshin’.”

When she came back with the drinks, Rico waved her to a seat. “We could use some company, too.”

“Both of you?” Her eyes went wide. “I suppose, but I gotta charge extra…”

“It ain’t like that, sweet thang. My friend here wants to conversate. Talk. Beat the gums, if you get what the Noog-man is sayin’.”

Rico leaned back in his chair, and Noogie knew the play was about to begin. “I hear you been having some trouble with a chump named Jimmy.”

She looked around. “I don’t know any Jimmy.”

“Now how can we be friends if you start by tellin’ me lies?” Rico shook his head, looking over at Noogie.

“Now don’t be lyin’ to the man, sweet thang. The Noog-man can testify to his character. He’s a righteous dude. A cool cat. So cut him some slack, jack!” The beer tasted good, and Noogie thought about ordering another. But he didn’t want the girl to leave the table. She looked spooked enough now. So he sat back and chilled.

“Ok…I heard the name. But I gotta be careful. My son…”

“And that’s why I’m here. To make sure you get to raise your boy how you want.” Rico smiled again. “Jimmy’s no good. He’s a chump who wants to use you and then toss you out.”

“And how are you different? Seems like you’re just another guy tryin’ to get something by me.”

“Hear the man out, sweet thang. You know the Noog-man, an’ he don’t lie.”

“No, you don’t, Noogie.” She smiled, and he could see the first faint glimmer of hope in her eyes. “So what’s the deal?”

“I want to take Jimmy out. He’s messin’ with things that are above his head and he needs to be put in his place. Rico Cooper don’t like competition.”

“I haven’t…”

“Oh, no, girl. I’m no pimp. It’s the new business he’s trying to cut in on that concerns me.”

Noogie listened to the pitch with half his mind, the other turning on what the girl might say. Rico might dress to the nines, but when it came to the streets he was strictly a two. Better than Crockett, but both cops were more at home in the penthouse than the street corner. But Noogie was smart enough to know the other two couldn’t get near Jimmy. Stan and Larry were great running pawn shops, but a player like Jimmy wouldn’t touch them. No, he had to play the hand he’d gotten struck with. If he wanted to do anything for the girl. He looked at her again. A little squint and he could see Dorothy in her face. No, he had to play this one.

“Hey, girl! He’s super-duper-Cooper. Do like he say an’ it can’t help but pay, if you can dig what the Noog-man is saying.”

Rico shook his head. “I ain’t sure anyone can understand that, Noogie.”

The girl smiled. “I do. He says it’s in my best interest to do what you say. And maybe he’s right. I ain’t heard of you, but I do know what Jimmy does to girls. What do you need me to do?”

Noogie smiled at Rico’s perplexed stare. “Hey, man. The Noog-man can’t help it if his words are pure gold. The lips with the tips and the nose that knows, if you can dig it.” He looked at the girl and smiled again. “What name goes with that sexy frame?”

“Tina.”

Noogie stuck out his hand. “Let’s shake an’ bake to the plan with the man.”

Rico smiled. “What time does Jimmy come through?”

Tina smiled back, looking from Rico to Noogie with what looked like hope in her eyes. “Around five. So he can get the last of the day shift and check out the girls coming on.”

“Well I’m gonna stick around and have a look at this chump. Noogie, you keep a look out and let me know when he’s here.”

Noogie nodded, flashing his teeth at Tina in a big smile. “You got no fear, dear. Cooper an’ the Noog-man are on the case.”

Once the girl left the table, Rico turned back to Noogie. “You sure about all this? This just ain’t some ploy to get in her shorts?”

“Man, if I did that Annie would be rippin’ off the Noogie family jewels an’ using ‘em for fuzzy mirror dice.” Noogie winced at the thought. Besides, he didn’t want Tubbs to know his real reason for wanting to help the girl. On the streets it never paid to let anyone see too far inside. He was more afraid of that than anything Annie might do. “An’ then she’d make me into one of them dolls with the damned bobbly heads. I hate them damn things, jack. They ain’t natural.”

“Ok, ok. I get it. She reminds you of someone. Cool. I ain’t gonna pry.” Rico looked around. “Just keep an eye out for Jimmy.”

Noogie nodded, hailing Tina for another beer. No reason to be dry while he was keeping watch. Besides, Jimmy wasn’t the kind to sneak into a place. He wanted folks to know he was there and he was IT. Even if he was short little shit wearing a fur coat he’d likely stolen from his mother. That was one bastard Noogie was looking forward to getting off the street.

Jimmy blew in just before five, and Noogie gave Tubbs a big stage grin before going back to his beer. That was one nice thing about his outsized act; nothing he did looked unusual or out of the ordinary. He could have thrown a road flare at Jimmy and most the regulars would have muttered something about Noogie’s pranks and gone back to staring at their drinks or the titties. Noogie laughed at the thought, waving at Jimmy and yelling, “Jimmay! My man man! Got any new nookie for the Noogie?”

“Eat shit, Noogie. I got business.” Jimmy’s voice was just below an annoying squeak, and it always made Noogie laugh.

“The way the Noog-man hears it, that’s what yo mamma said after you was born. Let me up, doc. I got business.” He laughed again and ducked back into the crowd forming by the main stage. He knew every inch of Rizzo’s, including where the lights didn’t shine so bright. Black leather pants weren’t just a fashion statement. They made great camouflage, too.

“Where’d that little shit go? Anyone see that shit Noogie? No? Well screw all of you. I got business. Where’s that new wench? The skinny one?”

Down in the deep shadows cast by the main stage riser, Noogie felt that stab of anger again. If he was a big man he’d smash Jimmy’s face into the floor and keep doing it until the man couldn’t do anything but burble. But Noogie wasn’t a big man. He was a skinny little punk with a gift for gab and feet quick enough to get him out of harm’s way almost as fast as his mouth got him into it. Peeking over the edge of the stage, he saw Jimmy heading for the back room. “Saw that wench go this way. Don’t you…”

Ricardo Tubbs loomed out of the shadows and blocked his path. “You must be Jimmy the Bitch. I keep hearing about you, Jimmy.”

“I ain’t no bitch! Who the hell…”

Rico backhanded the little pimp, jerking his neck like he’d been hit with a brick. “You’re cutting into my business, chump! That makes you a bitch!” The crack of a second backhand blow echoed through the club even as the blown speakers continued to put out something that could be been Bach or the Rolling Stones.

“But I…”

“Girls is one thing, bitch. But you’re moving in on another business. MY business, And Rico Cooper don’t like bitches mixing in his business. This is your only warning. You want to keep breathing, you’d best get out of Miami. Or next time you don’t get slapped and the coroner gets to keep that damned fake fur you wear like a bitch. Get me?”

“I…I get you, man. I’m gone. You ain’t gonna see me again.”

“Best make sure of that, chump. Cause if I do…” Rico raised his hand again, grinning as Jimmy flinched and ducked away. “Now get the hell out of here. And stay away from that girl. She’s my friend now, understand?”

“Yes, sir. I understand.” Jimmy turned and scuttled for the door, helped on his way by a swift kick in the backside.

Noogie came out from behind the riser, but not before getting a good look at the assets of Lisa who was working the pole. “Aw, man! I thought you was gonna bust him.”

“While you were having your beers I was on the phone. There’s a car out there now and they probably just stuffed him in the back. He’s got an outstanding warrant, so he’s going down to central booking. They might even put him in with Boogaloo Jones.”

“Can’t happen to a better dude.” Noogie grinned, forgetting his street patter. “Look, man, I owe you one.”

“No, Noogie. We got a bad guy off the streets. We’re even there. And your secret’s safe with me.” Rico smiled. “Now are you gonna go tell Tina she’s safe?”

“Hell yes! And then we gonna make this place jump! The Noog-man’s on a roll!” Grinning even wider, he slapped Rico on the shoulder and headed for the dressing rooms. Inside he felt warm, like something good had just happened. And maybe it had. “Tina! Baby girl! Super-Duper Cooper sent Jimmay on his way with a good kick in the ass! Now we just gotta get you some better shifts.” He almost added ‘and better tits’ but stopped himself. Tina was great as she was, and the last thing Rizzo’s needed was more silicone.

[mjcmmv]

The Noog-man! I like him more and more when I see him through your eyes!

Great story! Some of Noogie's lines made me crack up! You really have made this character come alive. 

[Robbie C.]

Thanks! It's hard to base stories on Noogie or Izzy because the show made them so weak. If you boost them too much they can easily take over, which is the line I was walking here.

[vicegirl85]

Not only did you capture Noogie's voice, but you made him a character I could believe in and like (in spite of his sometimes-annoying behavior, LOL)

Really enjoyed this! 

[Robbie C.]

Glad you enjoyed it. I always thought there was more to him than they let on the show. One of the joys of writing...

[vicegirl85]

For sure!

[Robbie C.]

Now I just have to figure out which idea to move with next. Sonny in Vietnam? Another Task Force arc story? A little bit of stuff from inside the series timeline? Too many bloody ideas...