COOPER&BURNETT Posted October 3, 2010 Report Share Posted October 3, 2010 I just heard about your mother, and how she suffered for so long fefore she died. I can't even imagine what you are feeling right now.I just lost my father in March to brain cancer. It made me numb when I was told he had just died. I felt like a zombie. (Please everyone, no condolences for me, this thread is about Brenda, and her mother, it's not about me.) When you know someone for so long, and they are not there anymore, it's hard to wrap your head around it. It's like this just can't be happening.I went on this site the day after in a slight daze, and found solice here amoung friends. It will not make things all better, but it did bring a bit of comfort being amoung friends, and keeping busy with something that I like doing. MIAMI VICE and STAR WARS have got me thru some tough times, and there is no reason that it shouldn't. If something gives you comfort, head towards it. It's a good distraction, and any emotions can be delt with, and brought out.I have a wonderful photo of my dad (one that I had never seen before until a family member found it amoung his digital photos taken at Christmas) and had it made into an 8x10, and it now sits to the left of my computer screen, so he is always in my thoughts.Hopefully, you will understand that you are amoung friends. If you weren't, you wouldn't have recieved any PM's, or condolences on this site at all. I care, we care, and we are here.-COOP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vice-girl Posted October 3, 2010 Report Share Posted October 3, 2010 Well said,my father died few weeks ago,so i know how the loss feels Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted October 3, 2010 Report Share Posted October 3, 2010 My mother died on November 1st last year because of liver cirrhosis. I think many of us know how it is to lose somebody. But of course it´s a lot harder if this person is the only relative that you´ve got.I hope that Brenda returns to see how many friends she´s got here in the forum. Friends, who want to help her getting through this very hard times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vice-girl Posted October 3, 2010 Report Share Posted October 3, 2010 i hope she has some good friends in real life,you know how i mean it,theres no better feeling than being taken in the arm,or to lean on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COOPER&BURNETT Posted October 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2010 Losing a loved one is extremely painful. ...but losing Everyone.....now that is unbareably hurtful.Can't imagine what she is going thru, as I have never been there in that situation.I have no idea how I'd handle it.Man,...losing your whole family...........how crushing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators timm525 Posted October 4, 2010 Administrators Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Hang in there! Your not alone, a lot of us have gone through similar experiences before with the loss of loved ones. I lost my mom a few years ago. It hurts now and will for a long, long time, but you will get through this. Time heals all things. Be strong and have faith that your loved one is in a much better place now.God bless,Tim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda Posted October 8, 2010 Report Share Posted October 8, 2010 I'm sorry for my outburst, I shouldn't have overreacted but everything hurts so much now. My Mom's funeral was last Wednesday, life is simply unbearable now although I do not fully realize yet what has happened... It feels so weird to be all alone in the world now, especially as I used to live with Mom...Thank you for your support, I'd like to thank everybody in person; I'll probably never meet any of you but you're like a family. I'll try and come back to this forum although I doubt I have much to say. I was about to watch some MV episodes but somehow I can't get round to it, I can't recognize myself; I used to be so energetic and now I can hardly drag myself off the bed. Sorry for yet another off-topic and many thanks to you all again... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COOPER&BURNETT Posted October 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2010 I'm sorry for my outburst' date=' I shouldn't have overreacted but everything hurts so much now. My Mom's funeral was last Wednesday, life is simply unbearable now although I do not fully realize yet what has happened... It feels so weird to be all alone in the world now, especially as I used to live with Mom...Thank you for your support, I'd like to thank everybody in person; I'll probably never meet any of you but you're like a family. I'll try and come back to this forum although I doubt I have much to say. I was about to watch some MV episodes but somehow I can't get round to it, I can't recognize myself; I used to be so energetic and now I can hardly drag myself off the bed. Sorry for yet another off-topic and many thanks to you all again...[/quote']Brenda, this IS the topic. It's not off topic.I created this thread just for you, for this reason. To say what you like, and how you feel.Would you feel any better putting her photos on this thread? It might make you feel a little better, and we could see her.This thread is for you, and for you to do and say anything you like.-COOP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marilyn Posted October 9, 2010 Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 Really great C&B that you started this thread! Miami Vice is the main thing that binds us, but we’re all real people that do know that life isn’t always pastel colored. And to Brenda: Don’t be silly, you DON’T have to apologize! I’m really glad to see you’re still here and I hope you will stay. We are your friends in good times and bad times. Keep your pecker up, girl!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted October 9, 2010 Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 You should only call those people friends who are there for you in bad times, and that´s what we want to do, Brenda! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COOPER&BURNETT Posted October 9, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 Who knows how WE would react if we were in your situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frey Posted October 9, 2010 Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 Really great C&B that you started this thread! Miami Vice is the main thing that binds us' date=' but we’re all real people that do know that life isn’t always pastel colored. And to Brenda: Don’t be silly, you DON’T have to apologize! I’m really glad to see you’re still here and I hope you will stay. We are your friends in good times and bad times. Keep your pecker up, girl!!![/quote'] Ditto. I hope you're doing better Brenda. :blumen:Marilyn, I think your last sentence in your reply to Brenda belongs in the Sex thread. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COOPER&BURNETT Posted October 9, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 Keep your pecker up' date=' girl!!![/quote']Frey, it's funny how translation, and other countries words can make something sound. However, the word "girl" makes it a contradition in words. :)I thought about pointing that out, but you beat me to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marilyn Posted October 9, 2010 Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 Marilyn' date=' I think your last sentence in your reply to Brenda belongs in the Sex thread. :D[/quote']Maybe I have to buy another dictionary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2morgen Posted October 9, 2010 Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 I'm sorry for my outburst' date=' I shouldn't have overreacted but everything hurts so much now. My Mom's funeral was last Wednesday, life is simply unbearable now although I do not fully realize yet what has happened... It feels so weird to be all alone in the world now, especially as I used to live with Mom...Thank you for your support, I'd like to thank everybody in person; I'll probably never meet any of you but you're like a family. I'll try and come back to this forum although I doubt I have much to say. I was about to watch some MV episodes but somehow I can't get round to it, I can't recognize myself; I used to be so energetic and now I can hardly drag myself off the bed. Sorry for yet another off-topic and many thanks to you all again...[/quote'] Brenda, I was very glad to see you were back on.Take your time to come to terms with your lose!and maybe it sounds strange to you now but one day you start to see to good things in life again and your mother will be in your heart, mind and soul forever! We are all here to support you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pandina Posted October 9, 2010 Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 It's good to see you again Brenda. We all hope that you'll start to live again even after your loss. Remember that behind avatars here there are real people with real feelings and this is why we want to help. You belong to this community Brenda and when you decide to come back you'll find us right here.In the meantime take good care of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted October 9, 2010 Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 Maybe I have to buy another dictionary There´s no need to feel embarrassed, Marilyn. The dictionaries one can buy in Europe mostly contain British English and this is very often very different to American English. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frey Posted October 9, 2010 Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 Frey' date=' it's funny how translation, and other countries words can make something sound. However, the word "girl" makes it a contradition in words. :)I thought about pointing that out, but you beat me to it.[/quote'] Excuse me while I go "smoke a fag." There´s no need to feel embarrassed' date=' Marilyn. The dictionaries one can buy in Europe mostly contain British English and this is very often very different to American English.[/quote'] That's what http://www.urbandictionary.com is for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted October 10, 2010 Report Share Posted October 10, 2010 Thanks for the information, frey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheetah Posted October 10, 2010 Report Share Posted October 10, 2010 I'm sorry for my outburst' date=' I shouldn't have overreacted but everything hurts so much now. My Mom's funeral was last Wednesday, life is simply unbearable now although I do not fully realize yet what has happened... It feels so weird to be all alone in the world now, especially as I used to live with Mom...Thank you for your support, I'd like to thank everybody in person; I'll probably never meet any of you but you're like a family. I'll try and come back to this forum although I doubt I have much to say. I was about to watch some MV episodes but somehow I can't get round to it, I can't recognize myself; I used to be so energetic and now I can hardly drag myself off the bed. Sorry for yet another off-topic and many thanks to you all again...[/quote'] It's great that you're back. I understand what you're feeling now (well, to some extent, cause it's impossible to feel other person's feelings)... when my Mom died I also couldn't fully realize it... in fact, it seems that I still don't - maybe it's some "anti-stress" reaction of our mind... As for not having much to say - take your time, you're not oblidged to say anything. Of course in your state of mind it's hard to concentrate on anything but your grief (not to mention some "fun" stuff like watching and discussing a TV-show). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda Posted October 10, 2010 Report Share Posted October 10, 2010 Yes, in spite of my present not-to-happy frame of mind I smiled when I read about my (?) pecker I like the Urban Dictionary a lot, as a matter of fact I've been subscribing their newsletter for several years. It's an awesome website.Everything feels weird now, I was very busy for the last twelve months driving my Mum from one doctor to another, from one hospital to another, buying medicines, consulting specialists, cooking for her, finally (unsuccessfully ) trying to look after her when her cancer spread to her brains and she couldn't talk or walk anymore (yet she remained conscious almost till the very last day of her life), placing her at a hospice and paying her visits three times a day for three weeks... Now everything is over, I don't know how I survived all this, including being present at her death and making the funeral arrangements... I had to see a doctor and take some medicines because I'd definitely go crazy if I didn't... I went to a meeting of a grief support group but I was disappointed to see that all the people present were in their sixties and seventies. Apparently, younger people find consolation in their other family members, like I did when my Dad died several years ago and when I got so close to my widowed mother. I'm surprised and sad that so many of you have already lost their parents - perhaps I shouldn't be as many of us remember the 1980s so we can't be twenty years old any longer... I'd rather we shared some more optimistic life experiences.I watched one episode of MV last night and I may watch another one tonight, I'm slowly trying to get back to normal although it's hard as I feel that everything has changed for ever and I've never felt so completely alone in my life. Work is fine, I can handle it but at home I'm surrounded by thousands of memories and heaps of personal stuff that belonged to my Mum. It's just so unfair that neither of my parents grew really old; they both just got very sick one day when they were still full of energy and ambitions. To me they just suddenly disappeared and I feel so out of place and I don't know what to do, especially as I no longer have anyone close to ask for advice. It all feels so awkward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonny-Burnett Posted October 10, 2010 Report Share Posted October 10, 2010 Sorry to hear of your loss, Brenda. I know its' an old saying but time does heal all wounds. I've had similar losses in my life and one last year. Your friends are your best support. I can recommend this book to you as well. http://www.amazon.com/Healing-After-Loss-Meditations-Working/dp/0380773384/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1286741339&sr=1-3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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