Where can I meet like-minded people in real life?

[MichaelAce]

On 6/2/2019 at 11:57 PM, pmconroy said:

I live about 30 miles south of the nearest actual city (Minneapolis) and I don't know of any such bars, nor do I go to bars, partially because I have no one to go with. It is what it is.

Yeah, I feel you.. I've heard about community websites, maybe there is a 80s community in one of those that organizes parties

Edited February 14, 2022 by MichaelAce

[Robbie C.]

Defining your worth based on if you're with someone or not is a dangerous thing to get into. You start getting desperate, and people can sense that. Once that happens you start missing the good people because they'll avoid you and you'll attract the crazies and (I hate to say it) predators. You have to like and respect yourself before you can find someone who will genuinely like and respect you. Social media and the like is attractive, but you're not living with someone on social media. You're in the same house with them, eating in same kitchen and using the same bathroom. We had this same talk back on the 21 thread. If you're genuinely comfortable with yourself others will sense that and you'll start meeting genuine people. And by meeting I mean actual face to face. Don't trust anything else. You won't be living with their avatar or what they claim they like or their photoshopped pictures.

[vicegirl85]

19 minutes ago, Robbie C. said:

Defining your worth based on if you're with someone or not is a dangerous thing to get into. You start getting desperate, and people can sense that. Once that happens you start missing the good people because they'll avoid you and you'll attract the crazies and (I hate to say it) predators. You have to like and respect yourself before you can find someone who will genuinely like and respect you. Social media and the like is attractive, but you're not living with someone on social media. You're in the same house with them, eating in same kitchen and using the same bathroom. We had this same talk back on the 21 thread. If you're genuinely comfortable with yourself others will sense that and you'll start meeting genuine people. And by meeting I mean actual face to face. Don't trust anything else. You won't be living with their avatar or what they claim they like or their photoshopped pictures.

That was worth repeating!

I live in a small town, too.  But even small communities usually have a library, 5K runs/walks sponsored by organizations  to do fundraising for good causes; shooting ranges; vintage car aficionados; theater groups; local bands that need people to set up sound systems, sell tickets, etc.  Place an ad in your local paper offering hand-washing and interior vacuuming for cars and you will meet people who like cars.  Don't ignore opportunities to interact with older people you aren't interested in dating--they will have daughters, nieces, granddaughters, etc. who are looking for a great guy like you.   

[BunMVO]

2 hours ago, Robbie C. said:

Defining your worth based on if you're with someone or not is a dangerous thing to get into. You start getting desperate, and people can sense that. Once that happens you start missing the good people because they'll avoid you and you'll attract the crazies and (I hate to say it) predators. You have to like and respect yourself before you can find someone who will genuinely like and respect you. Social media and the like is attractive, but you're not living with someone on social media. You're in the same house with them, eating in same kitchen and using the same bathroom. We had this same talk back on the 21 thread. If you're genuinely comfortable with yourself others will sense that and you'll start meeting genuine people. And by meeting I mean actual face to face. Don't trust anything else. You won't be living with their avatar or what they claim they like or their photoshopped pictures.

I second that completely.

I hope you're not referring to me because I don't follow that line of thinking at all and I'm not sure how you interpreted what I said that way to be honest. Was it the escort thing? That's just a dumb idea I've had because it would keep my sanity in check, if you know what I mean. My worth comes from my own self and independence and I don't look down on those who are in relationships necessarily, but I think there's something to be said for being a man who doesn't need anyone.

Unfortunately, my total independence from others and somewhat resentment is very off-putting to most people. And so it's a vicious cycle. No one wants to be around a jerk who keeps to himself right? That's okay, it's my own choice to be a loner really, and it protects me from being hurt, rejected or getting emotionally involved, which is something I cannot afford. I've seen those things go from bad to worse and the past is in the past, but had I had this thinking years ago, I would be in a much different and better place in life. Oh well.

I'm very comfortable with myself, and that's exactly the problem: too comfortable.

2 hours ago, vicegirl85 said:

That was worth repeating!

I live in a small town, too.  But even small communities usually have a library, 5K runs/walks sponsored by organizations  to do fundraising for good causes; shooting ranges; vintage car aficionados; theater groups; local bands that need people to set up sound systems, sell tickets, etc.  Place an ad in your local paper offering hand-washing and interior vacuuming for cars and you will meet people who like cars.  Don't ignore opportunities to interact with older people you aren't interested in dating--they will have daughters, nieces, granddaughters, etc. who are looking for a great guy like you.   

That's actually not a bad idea. I got laid off recently and any income I would get from that would be tremendous too. And good point! Older folks are obviously not in my crosshairs but connections, connections, connections.

[pahonu]

On 6/2/2019 at 7:17 PM, pmconroy said:

I second that completely.

I hope you're not referring to me because I don't follow that line of thinking at all and I'm not sure how you interpreted what I said that way to be honest. Was it the escort thing? That's just a dumb idea I've had because it would keep my sanity in check, if you know what I mean. My worth comes from my own self and independence and I don't look down on those who are in relationships necessarily, but I think there's something to be said for being a man who doesn't need anyone.

Unfortunately, my total independence from others and somewhat resentment is very off-putting to most people. And so it's a vicious cycle. No one wants to be around a jerk who keeps to himself right? That's okay, it's my own choice to be a loner really, and it protects me from being hurt, rejected or getting emotionally involved, which is something I cannot afford. I've seen those things go from bad to worse and the past is in the past, but had I had this thinking years ago, I would be in a much different and better place in life. Oh well.

I'm very comfortable with myself, and that's exactly the problem: too comfortable.

That's actually not a bad idea. I got laid off recently and any income I would get from that would be tremendous too. And good point! Older folks are obviously not in my crosshairs but connections, connections, connections.

Sorry to hear you got laid off.  I'm not from a small town so I'm pretty much out for suggestions in that area, sorry.  It did occur to me though, and this isn't a suggestion for you particularly, but there is a reason the data shows young adults leaving smaller towns and moving to cities to start their lives/careers.  I'm not judging small towns, I'm just pointing out that it is the general societal trend.  There are just loads more opportunities available with more people around.  I've read that many of these young adults move again once they start a family and the city center is not as desirable.  They may not go back to the same town, but they are moving and following the opportunities.  I read an article in the Economist recently describing how that type of mobility slowed significantly after the Great Recession, but is beginning to pick back up again.  I don't know how all this might apply to you, but a little information for context never hurts.

[bodie]

On 6/3/2019 at 3:17 AM, pmconroy said:

I second that completely.

I hope you're not referring to me because I don't follow that line of thinking at all and I'm not sure how you interpreted what I said that way to be honest. Was it the escort thing? That's just a dumb idea I've had because it would keep my sanity in check, if you know what I mean. My worth comes from my own self and independence and I don't look down on those who are in relationships necessarily, but I think there's something to be said for being a man who doesn't need anyone.

Unfortunately, my total independence from others and somewhat resentment is very off-putting to most people. And so it's a vicious cycle. No one wants to be around a jerk who keeps to himself right? That's okay, it's my own choice to be a loner really, and it protects me from being hurt, rejected or getting emotionally involved, which is something I cannot afford. I've seen those things go from bad to worse and the past is in the past, but had I had this thinking years ago, I would be in a much different and better place in life. Oh well.

I'm very comfortable with myself, and that's exactly the problem: too comfortable.

That's actually not a bad idea. I got laid off recently and any income I would get from that would be tremendous too. And good point! Older folks are obviously not in my crosshairs but connections, connections, connections.

It's easy for us all to be glass half empty about ourselves, when actually we often rarely know what it is someone likes about us and it's seldom ever something you're actively doing. Hence the earlier comments about being yourself, if you're honest and kind, people will be attracted to you.

If there was ever a show to watch as to why to not go down the escort route, it's Miami Vice - you don't need that as a young person with a good attitude. Get out there as per many of the good suggestions here about what and where people are. And I bet it happens when you're not looking and, crucially, not trying.

The worst that can happen is you make some friends along the way and get some knock-backs - but if you're respectful, you'll have nothing to be ashamed of. Best of luck to ya

[BunMVO]

1 hour ago, bodie said:

It's easy for us all to be glass half empty about ourselves, when actually we often rarely know what it is someone likes about us and it's seldom ever something you're actively doing. Hence the earlier comments about being yourself, if you're honest and kind, people will be attracted to you.

If there was ever a show to watch as to why to not go down the escort route, it's Miami Vice - you don't need that as a young person with a good attitude. Get out there as per many of the good suggestions here about what and where people are. And I bet it happens when you're not looking and, crucially, not trying.

The worst that can happen is you make some friends along the way and get some knock-backs - but if you're respectful, you'll have nothing to be ashamed of. Best of luck to ya

Thanks, pal. Yeah, better not go with escorts. I'm sure it would be an unsatisfying experience anyways.

I'll just do my thing, get involved with stuff I like more and maybe I'll meet friends and dating prospects. Who knows!

[sdiegolo78]

On 6/1/2019 at 3:53 AM, Dadrian said:

My wife didn’t know much about that stuff when we started dating. Now she listens to 80s records with me, and even makes witty Miami Vice quotes when situations occur. She’s pretty sharp on episode names and filming locations, too—all because she’s still into me after 14 years of marriage. 

You are some lucky man! Can't share my passion for MV, 80s series and music with anyone outside this forum.

[Dadrian]

4 minutes ago, sdiegolo78 said:

Can't share my passion for MV, 80s series and music with anyone outside this forum.

Well we’re here for you! 

[sdiegolo78]

1 minute ago, Dadrian said:

Well we’re here for you! 

That's why I love being part of this community!