Administrators timm525 Posted April 9, 2020 Administrators Report Share Posted April 9, 2020 * Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. * I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe. * I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. * Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom * PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. * Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job. * I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone * This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot. * So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them? * Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. * My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet. * Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat. * I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear? * I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom. * Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun. * Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended. * Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under 3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicefan7777 Posted April 9, 2020 Report Share Posted April 9, 2020 Before Corona Virus I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators timm525 Posted April 9, 2020 Author Administrators Report Share Posted April 9, 2020 Hitler discovers he has Coronavirus virus 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators timm525 Posted April 9, 2020 Author Administrators Report Share Posted April 9, 2020 Hitler finds out there is no more toilet paper. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicefan7777 Posted April 11, 2020 Report Share Posted April 11, 2020 On 4/9/2020 at 3:25 PM, timm525 said: Hitler finds out there is no more toilet paper. I always enjoy these Hitler rants. We need laughter these days. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicefan7777 Posted April 13, 2020 Report Share Posted April 13, 2020 Remembering when I was a young man looking for the latest in computer tech. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicegirl85 Posted April 13, 2020 Report Share Posted April 13, 2020 Ah the good old days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicefan7777 Posted April 20, 2020 Report Share Posted April 20, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airtommy Posted March 7, 2021 Report Share Posted March 7, 2021 (edited) Walking through the grocery store after insisting I don’t need a basket Edited May 28, 2021 by airtommy 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicefan7777 Posted March 9, 2021 Report Share Posted March 9, 2021 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicefan7777 Posted March 19, 2021 Report Share Posted March 19, 2021 I saw this real ad on my community's Facebook page. I thought I would share. I was just informed that my daughters inviting her boyfriend over for dinner So I'm looking for 1 possibly 2 guys freshly out of prison That want to come over and kick it and sharpen knives And clean guns all afternoon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicefan7777 Posted May 24, 2021 Report Share Posted May 24, 2021 Ok I admit this is NOT clean but the honesty is pure. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Calderon Posted May 25, 2021 Report Share Posted May 25, 2021 On 3/9/2021 at 3:45 AM, Vicefan7777 said: These two grannies were the two blondes on swimsuits on the mv intro. 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamijimf Posted May 25, 2021 Report Share Posted May 25, 2021 me: operator, I found a man passed out and bleeding. Please send help. 911 Operator: Stay calm sir. Where are you? me: ummm, Eucalyptus Blvd. 911: Spell that for me sir. 911: Sir are you still there? me: Yeah one sec. I’m dragging him over to Main Street. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamijimf Posted May 26, 2021 Report Share Posted May 26, 2021 Post by Carlos Cestero who played Frank Ariolla in the Vice episode Killshot. 2 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted June 5, 2021 Report Share Posted June 5, 2021 (edited) Edited June 5, 2021 by Marc 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewRemington Posted June 5, 2021 Report Share Posted June 5, 2021 I wasn't sure where to post this, but it is pretty funny that it's hotter in Wisconsin than Miami right now! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamijimf Posted June 5, 2021 Report Share Posted June 5, 2021 (edited) Yes the Gulf Stream and Sub-Tropical winds keep S. Fla from extremely high temps. Miami has only reached 100 degrees F. once in recorded history, from what I read. However the combination of high temps and high humidity are a double wammy that make it tough on visitors most of the year. Edited June 5, 2021 by miamijimf 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators timm525 Posted June 30, 2021 Author Administrators Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfie1996 Posted July 1, 2021 Report Share Posted July 1, 2021 7 hours ago, timm525 said: You're a cat owner, I can see 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicefan7777 Posted September 12, 2021 Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BunMVO Posted February 27, 2022 Report Share Posted February 27, 2022 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicefan7777 Posted March 3, 2022 Report Share Posted March 3, 2022 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicefan7777 Posted March 10, 2022 Report Share Posted March 10, 2022 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Calderon Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 (edited) Im afraid of type a joke here and It wouldnt bê Clean enough, even using scientific/technical/more polite words... Hmmm...im almost doing a "sincerecide" Edited March 11, 2022 by Mr. Calderon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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