Humor (Keep it Clean Please)


timm525

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I could never understand how Crockett and Tubbs can drive around a city with sexy cars like those, and not get pestered by bystanders.  Forget the crime-slime and the perps---the city folk are the most dangerous element around!

A few years ago, I rented a car, just a 2018 Ford Mustang Convertible.  Not my car, just a RENTAL.  It was sort of Tangerine/Melon colored, so OK, it caught your attention as I park it somewhere in NY.  Or park it somewhere in Connecticut.  Or parked it---alright, it got attention wherever I parked it.  But it got TOO MUCH (shhhhhh....horny) attention.  It was like a 30-year old girl who no fault of her own was just given a generous bustline by Mother Nature, and works out at a Pilates gym so she's earned an admirable caboose, and one day she decides just to wear a snug tangerine colored sweater dress for the day.  In NYC, what you can imagine would happen to THAT girl, happened to my rental car---Everywhere I stopped the car got touched or rubbed.

First hour of my rental, I pulled over to make a call.  This woman walking a dog (labradoodle?) walks past the car,... then walks BACK past the car a minute later,... then past one more time, then finally pulls her dog up behind the bumper of my car.  I freaked for a second-wait, is she making her dog to do its business right behind the car.  But NO, she's got out her cell phone, and she posed for a selfie with the car's caboose as her prop.  Wha! Ha!

First NIGHT, I had just picked up some take-home dinner, and was parked outside of KFC.  A woman crossed the street and started staring at me.  You know, staring... the way the woman looks at the two M&Ms in that commercial.
She came around and yanked the door handle. TWICE.  I had to shake my head---No Miss, this car is not an Uber.  Have you convinced yourself that Uber sent a TANGERINE Mustang coup to collect you?!

On my last rental day, I come back to the car in the parking lot, and find an 80-ish year old man, TALKING to the car.  Talking to it!  Not a hobo, neatly dressed,...but talking like it's a HER?  Talking at first,... and then rubbing the back of his hand up and down her headlamps! ?( :eek::sick:EEEwww, what are you thinking---oh you rude, dirty ole' man.  Get away from there---shoo!   You'll make me want to wash the car---shoo!  See? 

Same crimes that would happen to a lovely innocent girl, happen to a sexy car.  Get pictured, groped, propositioned, and goosed on her beamers...all in one day.

I don't know how Tubbs and Crockett did it....

 

 

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7 hours ago, Vicefan7777 said:

What the hell did he just say???  

 

The satforgess and the handoon rangoon. Keep up! :) 

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  • Administrators

BTW.  April Fool's is cancelled tomorrow. Keep your jokes to yourself because these last few years have already been hard. We're tired.

Tomorrow is March 32nd!

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The boyfriend Said tô the girlfriend: may i ejaculate in your ear?

The girlfriend Said: but wouldnt i get deaf?

The boyfriend Said: why? Did you get mute?

 

Ps... dear admin, in case you think its a bad one, Just laugh and delete. Thank you.

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Dude that made me laugh so hard! So glad I didn’t take a sip of anything. I wasn’t expecting that to happen to that extreme. I mean all the way under.

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